Both Christians and unbelievers are guilty of misusing Bible verses by ripping them from their original context.

There are so many misused passages in Scripture that it is hard to narrow it down to write about just one. So far we’ve looked at five verses in this series (2 Chronicles 7:14; Matthew 7:1; 2 Peter 3:8; Jeremiah 29:11; Matthew 18:19–20). With the exception of Matthew 7:1, the rest of these are regularly misused by Christians, and today I was reminded of another misused passage. This one is often misinterpreted by Christians who seek to harmonize the Bible with modern psychological concepts.

Commonly Misused Bible Verse #6: Matthew 22:39

Jesus was frequently involved in debates with many of the leaders of the Jewish people. One day, after He silenced the Sadducees, a Pharisee asked him, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” (Matthew 22:36).

Jesus replied:

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”  (Matthew 22:37–40, NKJV).

There is a popular notion in our society that people need to learn to love themselves before they can love others. This mantra came from psychology, but it has infiltrated the church as well. I had a professor in Bible college who said that the Bible repeatedly tells us that we need to love ourselves and I know many other believers have been taught the same thing. But is it true?

When my professor made this claim, I immediately raised my hand and asked him where the Bible taught this. He thought for a moment and then said that he thought Paul wrote something about it…or maybe it was Peter. He said he would look it up that night and get back to me the next day. So I caught up with him the next morning and asked again. He said that he couldn’t find a verse that taught this idea.

The reason my professor couldn’t find a verse that tells us to love ourselves is because the Bible never teaches it. Yet, some people cite Matthew 22:39 to support this idea. Jesus said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” He wasn’t telling people to love themselves. He told them to love others. Essentially, He was saying that we need to love others as we already do love ourselves.

In fact, in another place, Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). So in order to be a follower of Christ, a person is supposed to deny self. That’s practically the opposite of loving oneself. Furthermore, the Apostle Paul said that in the last days “men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy…” (2 Timothy 3:2ff).

Our world says that we need to focus on ourselves and to love ourselves, because then we can allegedly have self-esteem. But the Bible teaches the opposite. We already do love ourselves and we need to stop focusing so much on ourselves and focus on loving and serving others.

My professor also told us that we need to teach children that “Jesus loves them because they are so valuable.” What’s wrong with that? Children are valuable, aren’t they? Of course they are. But why are children (and human beings) valuable? My professor had it almost completely backwards. We are valuable because Jesus loves us and gave His life for us, and because we are made in the image of God.

We need to stop lying to ourselves by saying how good we are. We need to be honest and admit that we are actually sinful. We have all sinned against our Creator and we really aren’t good. We are full of lies, jealousy, lust, pride, and much more. If you don’t believe it, consider what you spend your time thinking about; consider your initial reaction when someone mistreats you or when you are caught doing something wrong. Do you long to strike back at the one that mistreated you and lie to get out of trouble?

The fact is, we aren’t inherently good. The world’s lie to love oneself feeds on our selfish desires. But Jesus died on the Cross to save us from our sins. When we turn from our sins and place our faith in Him then He forgives us of all our sins and gives us eternal life. When you begin to live for Him instead of yourself, and you start serving others instead of self, then you will discover a true sense of worth.

Finally, consider the words of Christian comedian Brad Stine who said, “When the Creator of matter tells you ‘You matter,’ then you have purpose, and then you have self-esteem.” The goal in life is not to attain self-esteem; however, when you realize that God has forgiven all of your sins, then you can have tremendous confidence to face any situation because nothing in all of creation can separate you “from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).

The world teaches self-love, but the Bible teaches self-denial. Don’t allow people to get away with misusing God’s Word in this, or any other area. Gently correct and share the truth with them.